The fact that two people meet and then fall head over heels in love with each other is and remains a small miracle. But it's often the case that the spark just doesn't want to spread. What to do?
The time after the first date is just as exciting and exciting as the days and hours before it. For the first time, you met a person live, carefully selected by a reputable dating agency. You have already formed a picture from previous information, messages and phone calls, the butterflies are fluttering wildly in your stomach when you finally sit opposite each other. It is something completely different to experience facial expressions and gestures in harmony with the spoken word. “Everyone wants to show their best side and learn more about each other. That's normal, after all it's about finding out whether the other person is the person you want to share your life with in the future," says Markus Poniewas, managing director of the dating agency PV-Exklusiv (www.pv-exklusiv.de).
The expectations are correspondingly high. But: “If you go into the first date expecting to fall head over heels in love, you will be disappointed in 99,9 percent of cases,” says Poniewas. Of course the other person aroused interest and curiosity. But it can still happen that after the first or subsequent dates you realize: he or she is not the dream partner. “In this case, it is a requirement of fairness to communicate this clearly, but carefully and appreciatively,” advises Markus Poniewas. “It would be inappropriate to get out of the affair with flimsy excuses or via WhatsApp. Or not to contact you at all.” That hurts the other person or gives him or her hope.
Everyone has probably been rejected and knows the feeling: it's frustrating and hardly anyone manages not to take the rejection personally. “It's not about the fact that the scorned person did something wrong. It’s simply that the chemistry between two people isn’t right and has nothing to do with one or the other,” says Markus Poniewas. In his dating agency, despite all the know-how and care, he finds that two people who are supposed to be compatible don't fall in love with each other.
In the end, the question of why doesn't matter. It's more about the fact that tastes are different. If one person's pulse starts racing as soon as they see a man with red hair, the other is into long beards, punk hairstyles or well-toned muscle men. However, if Muscle Man Lady meets a red-haired, skinny gentleman, no matter how charming he may be, Muscle Man Lady probably won't find him attractive. Come what may! And even if someone is 100 percent the type you should theoretically fly with, that doesn't mean that sparks will fly. Because attraction has its own laws that are almost never understandable.