How much does the past shape our future – especially in love?
This question becomes frighteningly clear when one considers the results of several long-term US studies: Women who had multiple sexual partners before marriage are statistically significantly more likely to divorce. Men with multiple previous partners also show a significantly higher likelihood of divorce. However, the effect is demonstrably more pronounced for women.
📊 Chart 1: Divorce rates among women by number of sexual partners before marriage
Source: National Survey of Family Growth (CDC/NSFG), 2015
📊 Chart 2: Comparison of men vs. women – divorce rate by number of sexual partners
Source: National Center for Health Statistics (CDC/NSFG), 2015
These data are not a moral judgment. But they reveal a psychological dynamic that is often repressed – especially in today's seemingly open society. The more partners someone has had in life, the longer their internal comparison lists become. In memory, moments, touches, and experiences become emotional puzzle pieces that assemble in the mind to form an ideal image.
But what happens when no real person can come close to this invisible ideal?
Women, especially those who look back on a very eventful love life, often talk in private conversations about a certain inner restlessness – a constant longing for "the one right man," who will suddenly unite everything that many different men previously embodied. A fantasy figure. A construct of memories. And this man – viewed soberly – will never exist.
What does this mean for real partner search?
Those who carry too many comparisons with themselves often unconsciously become critical, distant, and have difficulty forming bonds. And when social influences, family expectations, or high expectations are added to the mix, failure is often inevitable.
This also explains why many people—despite their good looks, education, and experience—don't really succeed in relationships. They're constantly "testing" others, often without even realizing it.
Our experience with PV-Exklusiv:
We've been supporting people on their journey to a genuine, sustainable relationship for over 40 years. And we see it every day: The more clearly a person can come to terms with their own past, the more stable their next relationship will be.
It's not the number of previous relationships that counts – it's your inner attitude. But this attitude doesn't develop on its own. It requires reflection. And sometimes, honest guidance.
That is why we position ourselves at PV-Exklusiv consciously as VIP dating agency for people with standards and depth. We listen, ask uncomfortable questions – and bring together exactly the people who can truly connect with your heart.